Image: Twoheadedgators Used under CC-BY-SA
He always thought of Mother when hunting.
“No swamps!” Mother said. “No caves, no crevasses.”
The doctor nodded, sage-like.
“You’re a delicate young man, Marvin.”
He stared at the linoleum, downcast.
“Yes, Mum.”
Written for this weekend’s Trifecta Writing Challenge.
chris white writes 
Like the concept, though I was confused by the switch between third and first person, and the implication that there were three characters there.
Yeah, I can see where the idea went wrong – I didn’t convey the sense that he was remembering the exchange at all. Damn. I’ll try to fix it (maybe just remove the picture) when I get home from work.
Fixed! Thanks again, Imaginator!
No worries and hey, I get it now 😀
I agree with TheImaginator – didn’t quite get it.
I agree with The Imaginator too. I can see where it went wrong, and hopefully how to fix it.
Fixed! (I think)
Excellent! It all falls in place for me 🙂
Chris, let me say how gracious you’ve been in receiving criticism. Such a refreshing approach.
Thank you and all good wishes,
Eric
P/s I’m following your blog.
I might not have completely understood it, but I adored the phrasing of the mum: “you’re a delicate young man, Marvin” A line chock-full of possibility for your terrific writing.
Thanks, Jo-anne! I’m glad you liked it. And *blushes* thanks for the compliment…
A mother’s words will stay with her son forever, these even more so I think. Thanks for linking up!
Thanks for having me! I still remember what my mum always used to say “…”
Oh I can see that he should better stay in the caves … better for the victims at least.
Mmmm, not so damp, I suppose – his Mother would approve. Probably more terrifying, though.
I enjoyed this. Funny how our mums words always stay with us, forever trying to protect.
I imagine he’d hear her voice quite often, too…