The Hive

Jennifer Pendergast

The hives spoke – droning their eternal song over hedgerows, echoing, invisible above the meadow.

The “BEES ARE DYING!” the tabloids erupted, months after sedate scientific journals proclaimed the same thing, qualified ten thousand times.

The bees are dying. The bees are dying.

They hid, below ground. Slowly, they band together, for protection, for warmth.

For vengeance.

They swept up, laying claim to greenhouses and orchids – giant constructs, yellow and black, flying death.

Now vast hives spread across the Earth, vast, milk-white honeycomb, dripping golden temptations.

So now we ride, insecticide in our hands.

To steal their children’s inheritance.

Written for this week’s Friday Fictioneers’ photo prompt and for the Trifecta Writing Challenge, for their prompt band: to gather together :

unite. Sorry about this dodgy story, not feeling up to it today… Comments and criticism always welcome!

Trifecta Writing Challenge Prompt!

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47 thoughts on “The Hive

  1. Dear Chris,

    I suspect many of us will have gone this direction by the end of the week. Love your last two lines.

    shalom,

    Rochelle

  2. misskzebra says:

    Love the images in this piece, especially this line:

    Now vast hives spread across the Earth, vast, milk-white honeycomb, dripping golden temptations.

  3. LaTonya says:

    We haven’t evolved, learned have we? Destruction seems to always be our go-to answer. Tight write.

  4. I had to go back and read this again while playing “Flight of the Bumblebee” loudly on my iPod. I thought this was a clever tale.

  5. Excellent synopsis for a horror movie!

    janet

  6. Joe Owens says:

    Chris, I think you made a honest effort at both prompts. Nice work.

  7. The beginning had quite the doomsday feel with the bees are dying.

  8. Linda Vernon says:

    Powerful, chilling and epic.

  9. elmowrites says:

    I had a feeling this one might prompt a few horror stories – your ties in well with the reallife horror of the bees dying. I liked the “dripping golden temptations” line especially.

  10. Sci Fi and reality collide here.

  11. Lynda says:

    I just read Rochelle’s comment and find that, at least so far, we are indeed following her mentioned path!

  12. Cobbie's World says:

    Far from being dodgy, I thought this was a clever take on the doomsday, “bees are dying” talk that is so prevalent today. Very smart of the bees to lay low, wait for their moment and then, take over the world! Now, that’s buzzworthy news! 🙂 Thanks for linking up this week, Chris.

  13. Gina says:

    Bees make me jumpy, skiddish, scared. So this story rated well on the horror scale. I think you did a great job with the prompts. Thanks for linking up!

    • I’ve never been bothered by bees, except when they’re not doing their job in my garden…have to pollinate my pumpkins by hand. And once you’ve helped plants have sex…(especially pumpkins!)

  14. Cool scifi twist to this story. Nice piece, it totally worked.

  15. JackieP says:

    I’m allergic to bees, but I still won’t kill one. Good story.

  16. Jan Brown says:

    Great horror story/cautionary tale!

  17. Kir Piccini says:

    OOOH Bees. Last year, at 42, I got my first bee sting..and YOWZA it hurt. A lot.
    I liked the “bees are dying” line..it was more than a part of the story it was a cautionary tale and I liked that.

    thank you for linking up this week!

  18. rckjones says:

    The Bee War has begun. Wonderful piece with lovingly chosen use of language.

  19. I like what you did here. Very interesting, very thriller-esque. I could hear this in the voice of the movie preview guy, as the only background (along with crazy buzzing) as the scene unfolds on the big screen.
    Love this: “the fear his destination wouldn’t be as exciting as the journey to get there”
    And the last line is perfect.
    -Alicia Audrey

  20. jannatwrites says:

    The gathering underground for vengeance was a nice glimpse of what was to come. Nice lines at the end…just like humans to bust in and take what doesn’t belong to them 🙂

  21. Interesting angle, nicely done.

  22. KymmInBarcelona says:

    *shivers at the thought*

    Chris – I think it works quite well up to ‘warmth’. You might work your way back up from there (the chorus of ‘the bees are dying’ is great) to maybe end with the honeycomb line? (what I mean is, show the vengence.)
    Cheers, Kymm

  23. JKBradley says:

    Good images. I’d recommend expanding this concept to maybe 5000 words to see what shakes out.

  24. I loved the way you put together your flash fiction.

  25. Great piece of dramatic writing (although I didn’t quite follow the ending. Is this a new voice?).

  26. dmmacilroy says:

    Dear Chris,

    I loved the writing in this story. Good job.

    Aloha,

    Doug

  27. hmv says:

    Whew! Powerful stuff you have here! I’ve always thought insects could take over the planet if they chose to do so and you’ve just qualified my theory 🙂

  28. annisik51 says:

    You are a good image-maker. I like the picture of the world as one big dripping honeycomb!

  29. pattisj says:

    Little by little the landscape and inhabitants of our world change.

  30. The last two lines really finish off the description of human apathy with style!

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