Here is a list of things I said to the doorman:
C’mon, man, it’s getting late.
Just pretend you didn’t see.
Ok. Ok. I get it.
Forget this shit-hole, I’m leaving.
He looked at me, and said sorry, sir, but this is a private club.
He looked through me, and said come on mate, don’t try me.
He stuck out his arm, as I tried to squeeze past.
I waited another hour, as more slipped up the ladder and sat, watching the skies.
I walked, and I wondered “What are they doing up there?”
Hoping for some flash of inspiration, some shadowed insight.
I walked, as I wondered, and thought of the question I should have asked
“How do I join?”
Written for this week’s Friday Fictioneers, with additional prompts from
BeKindRewrite and Sunday Scribblings.
Comments and criticism always welcome!
chris white writes 
Interesting! I wonder what they are doing up there! And do tell me about it if you get to know the procedure of joining it.
Ha! I don’t think it’s one of those clubs that actually lets people join…
It’s a shame it didn’t occur to him to ask the one question that might have gotten up there.
Nothing quite like l’esprit de l’escalier! And how true that we never ask those basic questions…
Nice take on the photo!
Thanks!
Dear Chris,
I’d like to know what they’re doing up there, too. Like your take. How often those “I should’ve saids” hit us long after the fact.
shalom,
Rochelle
Thanks, Rochelle! And yes, it is too often that we forget to ask the simple questions…thanks for dropping by!
Perhaps it’s best he didn’t join–has he seen anyone come down?
Hmmm…no, no he hasn’t!
It seems he really only wants to go up because it’s exclusive. It’s a great business strategy. 🙂
True of so many places and things in this world…
Human nature to want to be where everyone else is/ also human nature to act rather than think
Really like your take on the prompt
Thanks Moondust, glad you liked the story!
Love the mystery of the purpose here.. really good… and joining might be a mistake too.
Cheers. Bjorn, glad you liked the story. I’ve a feeling joining could be a mistake as well…
Membership has its privileges, but being afraid of heights I would probably say “Pass”!
Yeah, I’m not too fond of heights. Buildings/aeroplanes I can handle, but being exposed like that? I’ll pass too!
Maybe they’re waiting for the aliens to come. 🙂
janet
I don’t know what it is they’re waiting for…but aliens do spring to mind!
I always think of the best questions once it’s over. I join just to find out what was going on. I like that you didn’t even try to explain that part in your story. 😀
Thanks Linda, glad you liked it – I was just trying to let the reader do all the heavy lifting!
Strong arm tactics first and then common sense. Clearly a man’s thought process. Haha..j/k 🙂
Unfortunately true, for so many people…
Oh, can I join?
I’m not sure what their application process is – but considering my Mum (↓) doesn’t want me to join, it’d probably be pretty good fun.
You don’t want to join, love Mum
Thanks Mum!
What a creative interpretation of the photo prompt! And a very creative structure to the story. Well done!
Thanks Jan, I had the first line and was really worried that it wouldn’t work stylistically. Glad it did!
The photo gives me the willies, I can feel myself up there waving around feeling afraid of falling. I’m not getting the connection between sitting on a ladder and wondering about a private club…but maybe as things unfold? The club is like a penthouse and he’s trying to window peep?
It was kind of like the private club is up the ladder and on the railings…
Ooh, intriguing! It reminds me of when people look up in the street – the compulsion to look up as well, is almost impossible to resist!
Avoid the whims of the mob! Remember Day of the Triffids!
For some reason, this prompt is bring out the best of prose. This is a special one.
Thanks Charles, glad you liked it!
Hmmm, another unique form of storytelling. Feels like a metaphor.
Also reminds me of the other day when I missed my opportunity to ask a pertinent question. I was walking my dog when I noticed two cars following the garbage truck. While wrestling to keep my dog from running at said garbage truck, I wondered why the heck these people were following it. They didn’t look like junkers/pickers or anything. One of the car windows rolled down and the guy said to me “That dog is walking you!” It was the perfect opportunity to ask, but I just chuckled stupidly and kept walking. NOW I’LL NEVER KNOW.
One of the things I hate most! Aaargh, it’s always too late to ask by the time I think to!
Very charming tale – and also kind of reminds me of how we all stop and stare at whatever everyone else is staring at, car wreck, suicide, asteroids, fireworks – and feel left out if we can’t join them, whoever they are. Poor lemmings.
Saw it to amazing effect with last year’s solar eclipse – I made a little pinhole projector out of a shoe-box and was out in the street before work (around 530 am.) Ended up having to make dozens of them for passers-by!
Several points about human nature revealed in your story. Endless curiosity. Following the herd. Expecting to be rejected thus we are hostile in advance and so create the rejection ourselves. Etc. Well done in only 100 words! Ann
Glad you liked it, Ann. Thanks for stopping by!
Very cool pic, and I love the spare style!
Thanks Li, although the picture is from the Friday Fictioneers – they do great photo prompts!
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