The Poet, in Eternal Repose

The door slammed shut behind her, slammed shut, bouncing against the hinges, slammed shut on the pathetic arguments left trailing in her wake. BANG. A final piece of punctuation, aggressive, echoing through the tissue-paper thin walls that separate our apartments.

I take another slug of whiskey, sour and burning through the half-bottle haze. I take another slug of whiskey, as I juggle ten thousand potential conversations and a dozen outcomes. Juggling and shuffling the right words, shuffling them into their proper positions.

I take another slug of whiskey, and promise myself I’ll walk out the door behind her, tell her everything’s gonna be alright, that he’s an arsehole, that she should just forget about him.

Instead I take another slug of whiskey, and I sit on the floor.

The poet, in eternal repose.

Written for this week’s prompt Juggle. Comments and criticism always welcome!

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11 thoughts on “The Poet, in Eternal Repose

  1. barbara says:

    I like where you’re going with this the prompt is actually JUGGLE – I think you could rearrange it a bit to fit that in instead of juggling. Well done!

  2. Thanks, Barbara – I’ve fixed that now! Wouldn’t have wanted to be kicked off the list – amazing how I wrote juggling and thought “It’s weird that they haven’t just used juggle…” and I never went back an checked…

  3. Draug419 says:

    I like the repetition of some of the phrases. Great piece!

  4. steph says:

    Nice writing… you want him to get up and talk to her, but the lure of that whiskey, and what that whiskey eclipses. Communicated a lot in so few words. Well done.

  5. kymminbarcelona says:

    Terrific piece, Chris. Loved this: A final piece of punctuation, aggressive, echoing

  6. My attention was drawn with the repetitive technique you used. I loved the rawness in this.

  7. Bee says:

    I love the rhythm here — nicely done!

  8. Annabelle says:

    Love the nastiness of that final line. One comment: I was a bit jolted by the change in tense; I can see how that may have been deliberate but it made me scramble for a second, for what it’s worth.

  9. Linda Vernon says:

    Now this is what I call writing!! Absolutely loved it!

  10. just think what you can do to that jerk for her on paper, though! Take that! 😉

  11. atrm61 says:

    Love the powerful second para -the way you played around with the words-wow!And the end-superb!

Comments and criticism always welcome!

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