Rescue

 

Copyright Beth Carter

“How much further? I can’t hardly feel my legs.”

 

I ignore him, a superhuman effort. Twenty minutes we’ve been driving – twenty minutes of non-stop complaints. As a reward for rescuing him: this unending list.

 

I think I’ve made a mistake.

 

With a gentle touch on the clutch I shift down a gear, slamming the accelerator into the floor. The engine screams its protest, drowning out his whining with its own.

 

As we drive the burning city casts our shadows ahead of us as we leave it behind. As we leave his questions behind us.

“Yes, this is my car.”

 

“Yes, I made it myself – and yes, it does work.”

 

“No, I’m not fucking joking. Just get in the fucking car.”

 

I hope I haven’t made a mistake.

 

We need his help.

 

Written for this week’s Friday Fictioneers photo prompt, as well as for the BeKindRewrite prompts Trouble Feeling and Trust the Experts. Comments and criticism always welcome! Sorry for the cussin’!

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19 thoughts on “Rescue

  1. Whatever they need him for must be urgent to put up with all that! You’ve tweaked my curiosity.

    janet

  2. tedstrutz says:

    Okay… where is the rest of the story… the hell with the 100 words. ‘drowning out his whining with its own’… loved that line.

  3. This is a great set-up to a whole new world. Is the guy a doctor perhaps? In any case, good to get away from the burning city.

  4. Hmmm… my curiosity is definitely aroused.
    I’m happy you have left that burning city behind. Would love to know why you need him…!

  5. annisik51 says:

    I’m burning with curiosity. Will you douse my flames with a sequel, I wonder! I love this image: the burning city casts our shadows ahead of us. Ann

  6. Sunshine says:

    i like the “ignore him, a superhuman effort…” sometimes it takes that with some people. you leave the reader wondering…what is going on! great story

  7. t says:

    I would also like to see where this goes…

  8. The true tiresome part of being a hero. Great one, 😉

  9. C. Patrick says:

    I’m just assuming zombie kittens.

  10. Dear Chris,
    The complainer must really be necessary to put up with the hassle. Will there be a sequel? I”m curious.
    Shalom,
    Rochelle

  11. “With a gentle touch on the clutch I shift down a gear, slamming the accelerator into the floor. The engine screams its protest, drowning out his whining with its own.” — loved this best, wonderful action words, and yes the story begs to continue.

  12. rich says:

    now burning questions for us as we want to know why his help is needed. well done.

    in this sentence: “As we drive the burning city casts our shadows ahead of us as we leave it behind.” it feels redundant to have “as we drive” and then “as we leave it behind.” think about removing “as we drive” from the beginning. i think it might read fine to start from “The burning…”

  13. billgncs says:

    Hello — that was a good start – this could be the start of a longer tale.

  14. deanabo says:

    Terrific beginning of something brilliant?

  15. Ah, a post-apocolptic tale – and very amusingly told. Thanks for this. I can see you left everyone hanging, but I am satisfied.
    Good one,
    Laura

  16. Cool. The burning city part marked an unexpected turn that made this piece all the more interesting – and the “can’t hardly feel my legs” line a little more disturbing. I like the bit about ignoring him being a superhuman effort – drives the point home.

  17. Bee says:

    I certainly hope they find him helpful!

  18. Carrie says:

    I had some of the same critiques as Rich 🙂 That one phrase didn’t flow.

    Otherwise an intriguing beginning. Hope to see more!

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