The Creep – VoiceWeek Part 4

The sweat beaded on his forehead, his erection squashed against the Dominatrix’s device. He had waited for her, had been saving for years to come back – had even rejected the advances of that sexy little slut riding cabin class.

His mistress would be so pleased with him. The exquisite pain she was waiting to inflict.

Finally they were arriving. His wet tongue slipped from the wet maw that was his mouth, his skin visibly greying.

Finally, he was back.

 

This post is the fourth in a series of five, written in honour of VoiceWeekBeKindReWrite’s yearly experiment in the art of writing in different voices, an opportunity to write the same story from five different viewpoints – in Steph’s own words:

Voice Week is an experimental writing challenge to help us stretch our versatility in voice and tone. Each Voice Week participant writes five versions of the same story – from five different points of view. Then,October 1 through 5, we post, compare, sharpen, and grow.

Go ahead and check out some of the other writers, and remember, it’s not too late to join in!

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6 thoughts on “The Creep – VoiceWeek Part 4

  1. Oooh, sinister! I like. 🙂

    I love the image you paint, “the wet maw that was his mouth, his skin visibly greying”, although the repetition (“wet tongue… wet maw”) doesn’t really work for me. I’d probably settle for “tongue” without a modifier.

    That’s just me nit-picking. :p Regardless, you’ve written a really intriguing story with this voice, and all the others.

    Looking forward to seeing the final piece!

    • No, nit-picking is definitely appreciated – those little errors are so often what ruins a story for me. Thank you for pointing it out – although I won’t change it, because that just feels like cheating.

  2. Creepy indeed. Interesting mix of subservience and a sense of superiority, from his mistress to “the sexy little slut.” Complex and unique.

  3. […] the rest: The Creep – VoiceWeek Part 4 « chriswhitewrites. Share this:Like this:LikeBe the first to like […]

  4. Carrie says:

    definitely gives you the creeps. This is a guy with some serious issues 🙂

  5. Parul says:

    Creepy! And a frequent flyer?

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