Cloud Surfing

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The earth curved away in a neat line, the wind buffeting his ears. The steady drone of the aeroplane engine’s vibrations drowned out his thudding heartbeat, setting his teeth a-chatter, echoing through his skull.

He fell, plunging downward, and from this height you no longer wondered why they were called the “Cloud Forests,” as walls of grey clung to the thin needles riding the hills.

He pulled at the cord, yanked at the emergency chute – he had almost left it too late.

It was the wrong backpack. The winds drown his voice as the clouds fail to catch him, not as solid as they seem.

This post was written for this weekend’s Friday Fictioneers photo prompt. I’ve been a bit too busy to read everyone else’s stories and reply to comments this last week, working to much at the DAYJOB and (happily) doing a whole load of reading and writing…(YAY!) I’ve finally got a day off tomorrow, so I’ll be dropping around your blogs then, I promise! Comments and criticism always welcome!

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17 thoughts on “Cloud Surfing

  1. Sandra says:

    Nicely done. Reminded me how I always find it hard to believe you couldn’t walk on the clouds below when I’m on a plane.

  2. bittercharm says:

    Writers are cruel, cruel beings, for they make their characters go through our worst fears all the time. Very well done… I almost felt the fall.

    Mine is here…

    http://reeflections.wordpress.com/2012/08/25/eloped-in-the-mist/

  3. If only he’d checked it before… beautifully written!

  4. I love that last comment, “not as solid as they seem”. Brilliant work.

  5. Tragic twist. The ending made a real impact! Love the line, “…clouds fail to catch him, not as solid as they seem.”

    Splat.

    http://ebooksscifi.wordpress.com/2012/08/24/devolution-copyright-2012-ilyan-kei-lavanway/

  6. Ouch. It pays to check ahead doesn’t it? Sad ending but well told.
    http://rochellewisofffields.wordpress.com/2012/08/22/escape/

  7. Steve Green says:

    Beautiful. A flash after my own heart.

  8. billgncs says:

    good one – -been parachuting — hope he crosses his legs so they can screw him out of the ground!

  9. Adam Ickes says:

    Sounds like he got lazy after one too many jumps.

  10. Kaitlin says:

    Whoops! At least his last view is pretty.

  11. Aaron says:

    Ouch. What a view to go out with, though.

  12. Ackkkk…my worst nightmare. I cringe every time I watch a parachute jumper. He is brave, I am chicken. His last views are lovely but surprised his heart didn’t give out on the way down. Or did it? I’m #36 on the list.

  13. I’ve never been sky-diving, it looks far too terrifying for me. Planes are made for going places in, not jumping out of!

  14. oh, you rotter – he’s a gonner. Really nicely written – I liked it.

  15. pd1248 says:

    I’m not sure this would actually happen in real life but who cares? Well written.

  16. Cherryl Chow says:

    Loved it! Beautifully written.

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