Mistaken Identity

It was a maloprism – nothing more than an honest mistake, I must have misheard the minister the first time he said it. It was only for a few years, your Holiness, until I was old enough to read, to see your name in print – to think to myself “All this time I was wrong.” Just seems to me like a bit of overkill – if you don’t mind me sayin’ so, your Grace – it seems like overkill, to haul me low across those eternally blazing coals, just for a slip of the tongue. I never meant to break any of your rules – well maybe once or twice, me Lord – never meant to break any of the big ones in any case. That’s not blood on my hands, I am clean, clean of the sins of Earth!

I now know it’s the First Commandment, “Take no other God than me!” but in all honesty it was an accident – I misheard the priest, he never corrected me, he was not diligent enough, not experienced enough to nuture and protect my soul! My Ma and P never tried to correct me either.They were the adults – I guess they thought it was closer to cuteness than to heresy. I didn’t mean to blaspheme, I thought it was your name! Everytime I whispered my prayers at night it must have grated against your ears; whenever you heard my little voice raised in prayer I was breaking the first and foremost of your laws!

Whenever you heard me whisper that amateur’s mistake, “Glory to Todd in the highest…”

This week’s story came to mind thanks to a conversation between @consigliere82 and myself. I misheard him saying “For God’s sake!” I used this week’s Trifectaprompt: Clean, free from moral corruption or sinister connections of any kind, fromBeKindRewrite‘s prompts All This Time I was Wrong; and That’s Not Blood. I also used this week’s3WordWednesdayprompts: Amateur, Diligent, and Nurture.


16 thoughts on “Mistaken Identity

  1. TheOthers1 says:

    Ahaha. I’d like to think God is forgiving in those moments where we make mistakes. Glory to Todd. Lol. Well done!

    One thing. Did you mean to say amateur’s mistake in that last line? Am I just reading it wrong?

  2. jannatwrites says:

    Maybe God does go by the nickname of Todd?

    I like the way the story built up the suspense until the offense was revealed in the last line.

  3. karen says:

    got a laugh from me … just like when a kid sings a song and the words are totally different. Totally unexpected, though!

  4. Glad it worked! This is the first time I’ve tried to write humour…

  5. oldegg says:

    I can see why they may have been upset as ‘tod’ means fox or crafty in early English!

  6. Gina says:

    I burst out laughing at the end of this because I didn’t look ahead to see where it was going. I’m sure you were forgiven when you admitted it in the confessional. God won’t mind because He already knew. Great story!!!

  7. Hahahaha. Well done. Nicely told tale, wrapped up neat and tight. Good job!!

  8. booguloo says:

    That’s gotta be like pulling the scab off with the band-aid.

  9. That was a fun read. πŸ™‚ That twist was such a surprise. I am still laughing as I write this comment.

    P.S. My little boy prays to “Jeje” and invokes “Ale Meme” before bedtime. πŸ™‚

  10. jesterqueen says:

    I now somehow am transported to the scene in Princess Bride with “Wuv” and “Mawwiage”

  11. Haha! You say you don’t try your hand at humour much. Well, I think you ought to. This is clever and it’s funny. You’ve got a real versatility to your writing and I love clicking on your links to see what you have in store for us each week. Hope to see you at the weekend.

  12. ladynimue says:

    haha .. sooper story .. amazingly used many prompts πŸ™‚

  13. Ha! Adorable.

    Todd is also known as Andy and Howard.

    “Andy walks with me, Andy talks with me”

    “Our father, who art in heaven, Howard be thy name.”

  14. Reminds me of the story of a child attending the funeral of his pet.

    Instead of saying “In the name of the Father, the Son, and the Holy Ghost,” he concluded with “in to the hole he goes.”

    πŸ˜‰ Funny stuff.

    Two things, though:
    1. You’ve misplaced the “a” on “Pa”.
    2. That first sentence was a bit wordy and long. I think a full-stop or semi-colon belongs in there somewhere.

    Nevertheless, a very enjoyable read. πŸ™‚

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