Mythras

Mother always said I was special.
That the other boys would see – one day.
That my Father would acknowledge me – eventually.
I dragged my death through the streets.
The crowds, the pain – unforgivable.

Thirty three words retelling a classic story for Trifecta Writing ChallengeThe first of (at least) two…

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14 thoughts on “Mythras

  1. barbara says:

    whoa – so much in so few

  2. megan says:

    I always wish I knew more mythology.

  3. shanjeniah says:

    Brilliant. That last word – so much depth.

  4. Trifecta says:

    Another super entry, Chris. I love how clever your posts always are. It’s a cliché, but you really do think outside the box and we get some great writing as a result. Thanks for linking up.

  5. nickrolynd says:

    Very nice. I agree with everyone else. The last word, separated from the rest, has an immense impact on the reader. Great piece. =)

  6. jesterqueen1 says:

    I’m getting caught up on my weekend Trifecta visiting. WOW. This one goes POW, leaving me wondering whether the persona is unforgiveable or his tormentors or both. (I confess to being unfamilar with the myth in question. I think from the title ancient Greece, but it doesn’t matter this well told.)

    • The myth in question covers lots of Gods, both ancient and modern. I tried to draw people into believing it is about Jesus, but named it after Mithras who’s story is pretty much the same. It could also apply to Krishna, Osiris or Adonis though…all of their myths are almost identical.

      Oh, and I changed Mithras’s name to Myth-ras to further point out that it is a myth.

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